Discipline With Eating and Drinking: Start With Your Long-Term Why

I'm 41 and I have been running off and on for 20 years. How can I discipline myself from eating too much or drinking too much?

– Martin, Los Angeles, CA

Answer by Dom: Hi Martin, thanks for your question. If I had the magic answer to that one I'd be a weight loss guru and would be raking in the millions I think. Twenty years of off-and-on running tells me your problem is consistency, not knowledge — so you need a system you can repeat every week, not a burst of willpower.

Here is the system I'd recommend:

1. Write down your long-term why
2. Turn it into weekly numbers
3. Plan for your trigger moments
4. Add consequences and track them
5. Restart straight after a slip

Write down your long-term why

What I find works for me in many different parts in life is to consider what I want to get out of it long-term.

Why would I want to eat moderately and drink moderately today? Because I don't want to die of heart disease at age 50, because I want to be able to travel the world and go on multi-day hikes with my wife when the kids have left home, because I want to see my grand children grow up, etc.

Some of them might be universal (I don't want to die at young age), but some of them are highly personal. Certain things you want to get out of life, your big objectives, hopes and dreams. Use those as they are much stronger motivators than any generic objective.

My advice to you, Martin: write yours down tonight, in one or two sentences, on paper. Make it specific — a trip, a race, a family occasion, an age you want to be running at. Then put it somewhere you see daily, such as the fridge door or your phone lock screen. A vague wish to "be healthier" loses to a biscuit tin every time. A picture of you hiking with your family at 65 has a fighting chance.

Turn it into weekly numbers

These are your long-term objectives. In order to reach those I need short-term goals and promises to myself, i.e. I will run 3 times this week, I will limit my calorie intake to x calories/day, I will not drink more than 3 alcoholic drinks this week, I will eat according to my pre-set meal plan, etc.

The key is that every promise is a number you can count on Sunday evening. "Eat better" can't be checked. "Three runs" can. For someone coming back after gaps, I'd start with these:

• Running: three easy-pace sessions of 20–30 minutes, same days each week.
• Alcohol: a weekly cap — pick a number you can keep, then spend it deliberately rather than by accident.
• Food: a simple meal plan written on Sunday for the weekdays. Decide breakfast, lunch and dinner in advance and you remove hundreds of small decisions.

Keep the promises small enough that a bad week still allows you to hit them. Build up from there once you have four clean weeks in a row.

Plan for your trigger moments

Most overeating and overdrinking happens at predictable times. Think about your own — evening snacking in front of the television, Friday drinks after work, the weekend barbecue. Write them down.

Then give each one a simple if-then plan, made in advance when you are calm:

• If I want a snack after dinner, then I drink a glass of water and have a piece of fruit first. If I still want something after ten minutes, I have it — from my plan.
• If I go to Friday drinks, then I decide my number before I arrive and alternate each drink with water or a soft drink.
• If I get home hungry after work, then I eat the dinner I planned, not whatever is in the cupboard.

It works because you are not negotiating with yourself at 9pm when you are tired. The decision is already made. Better still, put your run before the trigger. A 30-minute easy run at 6pm makes the sofa-and-crisps evening harder to slide into — and you have just spent effort you won't want to waste.

Add consequences and track them

Included in this should be some consequences if you don't keep to your promises. I know a guy who had worked out that one bottle of beer cost him 17 minutes on the treadmill at a certain speed. So, every time he drank a beer, he had to spend that amount of time on the treadmill!

You don't need a treadmill to copy the idea. Pick a consequence that is useful, not miserable. Go over your weekly drinks cap, and the extra drinks become extra running minutes the following week. Skip a planned run, and you do it the next day, no excuses. Missed your meal plan twice? You cook the plan for the whole weekend.

Now track it. Use a paper calendar on the kitchen wall: one tick for each kept promise, a cross for each break. Each Sunday, add up the ticks and write down the number. Seeing a run of ticks becomes a reward in itself, and a cross is simply information about which trigger moment needs a better plan.

Restart straight after a slip

You have been running off and on for 20 years, so you know the pattern: one bad weekend turns into a bad month, and the answer becomes "I'll start again Monday." Never wait for Monday. Restart at the very next meal or the very next day.

Here's my restart plan:

• Do the next planned run, even if it's a short, slow 15 minutes. Easy running is enough.
• Eat the next meal from your plan. One slip is one meal, not a lost week.
• Write down which trigger caused it and change the if-then plan.

Running and eating habits feed each other. A run streak makes you less likely to waste the effort on a takeaway, and a clean week of eating makes the next run feel lighter. Protect the run streak first — three sessions a week, non-stop for a couple of months, and the rest gets easier to hold. If your drinking ever feels out of your control, I'd also suggest a talk with your doctor.

Hope this helps, Martin. Start with the why and the three numbers this week, and let me know how you get on :)

Kind regards,
Dom

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