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Best Running Jokes

Running Jokes # 1
Two hikers on a trail came around the bend to find an enormous brown bear about 75 yards up the trail. The bear spies them and begins running toward them at a full gallop. One hiker drops his backpack, sits down, throws off his boots, and starts lacing up a pair of running shoes.

The other hiker says: "What are you doing? You will never outrun that bear!".

The first hiker replies: "I don't have to outrun the bear..."

Running Jokes # 2
Michael Johnson, the Olympic gold medal runner, was on his way to a club with some friends.

At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said: "Sorry, mate, you can't come in here - no denim. "Michael was quite annoyed at this and retorted: "Don't you know who I am? I'm Michael Johnson."

"Then it won't take you long to run home and change, will it?" replied the bouncer.

Running Jokes # 3
A runner asks his wife: "What do you love most about me? My tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?"

"What I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your enormous sense of humor."

Running Jokes # 4
One man's hobby was running, he spent all his weekends on the park trails, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the park as usual. It was still dark, cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife.

"What terrible weather today honey," he said to her.

"Yes," she replied "but my idiot husband still went running!"

Running Jokes # 5
During the Sydney Olympics Kenyan long-distance runner Kip Lagat was asked why his country produced so many great runners.

"It's the road signs," he replied. "'Beware of lions'!"

Running Jokes # 6
At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.

One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?"

Running Jokes # 7
ONE day a friend of Temel asked: "Temel, why are these people running?"

Temel answered: "They are runners. They are running to get the cup." "Who will get the cup?" "The first among the runners." "What about the others?" "Nothing." "Then, why are they running?"

Running Jokes # 8
A school teacher asked a student, "John, will you please conjugate the verb 'to go' for the class?"

The kid began, "I go... um... you go... ehmm... he goes..." "How about a little faster?" asks the teacher. And the kid, "Sure! I run, you run, she runs..."

Running Jokes # 9
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.

At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them.

They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

Running Jokes # 10
Running shoes in these days are more and more technologically advanced. I went in this store and they told me this new model of running shoes can even predict the weather!

I asked how and the salesperson told me: "Leave your shoes outside the window for a little while: if they are wet it's raining, if they are dry it's sunny, if you cannot see them it's foggy."

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